Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
