i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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