I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
Randomize
