I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
