Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
