Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
