you guys were way drunker than both of me
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
