drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I supernannyed him into submission
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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