eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Randomize
