If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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