You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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