I need help removing her.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
