Nicole vs. Life
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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