So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
