Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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