So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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