Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This house was built for laser tag.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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