naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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