Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
