I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
