Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
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You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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