I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
