It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
