Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Randomize
