I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
