Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
