Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
