Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
