i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
