I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
