he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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