yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
