Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
