i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
