What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
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he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
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I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
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