i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize