ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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