remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I use my feet as sexual weapons
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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