i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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