So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
