What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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