Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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