i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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