he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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