We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Randomize
