we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
