Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
