I cannot find my penis.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The power of my boobs compel you
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
