I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
