Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
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