Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
