i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
