i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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