so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize
