Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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