girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
