I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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