just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize
