hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
