I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Randomize
