my mouth tastes like poor choices
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
