he told me I talked like a deaf person
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
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I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
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Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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